Money troubles in relationships can feel really confusing. Sometimes what seems like normal arguments about spending is actually something more serious – someone using money to control you.
If you’ve ever felt like you can’t buy basic things without permission, or worried about spending your own money, you’re not alone. Nearly 2 in 5 people in the UK have experienced this kind of control in a relationship.
We’re sharing this information because everyone deserves to feel safe and in control of their own money.
What is economic abuse?
It’s when someone uses money to control your daily life. They might stop you getting to work, control your phone contract so you can’t call people, or prevent you buying food or clothes. It’s all about making you dependent on them so it’s harder to leave.
What to look out for
These behaviours often start small and build up over time. You might not even realise it’s happening. If any of these sound familiar, know that it’s not okay and help is available:
Controlling your income:
- Stopping you from working or going to college
- Making you hand over your wages or benefits
- Deciding how you spend your own money
Restricting what you can buy:
- Controlling spending on everyday things like food, clothes, or bus fare
- Setting limits on what you can spend without asking
- Taking complete control of bills and not telling you what’s happening with household money
Taking advantage financially:
- Stealing your money or belongings
- Refusing to pay their share of rent or bills
- Using your name to get credit cards or loans without telling you
- Spending money needed for household essentials on themselves
Getting help
This isn’t your fault. You don’t have to deal with it alone.
- If you’re in immediate danger, call 999.
- For financial advice: Financial Support Line for economic abuse victims – 0808 196 8845 (free, weekdays 9am-5pm)
- Women’s Aid: Live chat support weekdays 8am-6pm, Saturdays 10am-6pm
- NHS domestic violence information: Find specialist help for men, women, LGBTQ+ people, and those at risk of forced marriage
- If you’re a London Mutual member and someone is accessing your account without permission, email us confidentially at [email protected]. We’ll help you regain control and keep your money safe.
You’re not alone
Economic abuse can really damage your confidence and finances, but things can get better with the right support. Often the hardest part is recognising what’s happening.
If you’re worried about someone else, just letting them know you care and will listen without judging can make a huge difference. Help is there when they’re ready for it.
